Superficial

"I want someone who I'm attracted to physically and have a connection with emotionally. Is that such a crime?" I said with such vigor.

He was starting to piss me off. I guess I was upset because he kept calling me superficial. Maybe I am, but aren’t we all?

Would Cinderella have been attracted to Prince Charming if he looked like Shrek? The only reason Fiona eventually got hitched with him was because she turned out to be an ogre too. Even Bell (Beauty) was not attracted to Beast instantly right? Lucky for her Beast turned out to be handsome at the end. Would she have been fascinated with him if he remained the Beast? Maybe so, but like all fairytales, it ended on a happy note. Go figure.

So why would it make you superficial to find an attractive partner? Or at least someone you’re attracted to initially. I want that! We all do, whether we would like to admit it or not.

Yes, you may find beauty beneath the ugly but would you consider even dating ‘ugly’ if you’re not the least bit attracted on a certain level?

Cue song: Humanap ka ng panget at ibigin mong tunay… (‘wag na uyyy, wag na, wag na)

Ok, so everyone deserves a chance to find love too and while physical appearance may not matter to some, it does matter to most. We all live in very cynical world and having certain preferences doesn’t make us lesser people. We’re just specific.

Tall, dark, and handsome.
Fair, cute, and small.
Chubbies,
Leans, medium builts, or muscle sculpted.
Adonis/Athena-like features.
Short haired or long.
Clean or mullet cut.
Smooth or hairy.

Preferences, we all have them.

But more often that not the ideal physical look that we want to find in a partner, they do not have.

That’s why it’s called preference, not requirements. It’s nice to have but not a prerequisite.

At the end of the day, you just want someone to connect with. You want to meet someone that would make your life a little more meaningful. It’s an additional reason for you to wake up each morning and just be happy. A person that when you meet, you hear bells, chimes, Angels singing Hallelujah or even Bocelli. Not a big gong or a voice saying “Run AWAY quick!”

Searching it on the omniscient Wikipedia I found these results.

Superficial is a general term meaning "regarding the surface", often metaphorically. Both in the literal as in the metaphorical sense the term has often a negative connotation based on the idea that deeper parts are also important to consider.

Now tell me, is it such a crime?

Stolen

What an unlucky day it was for me.
My entire bag was stolen last Sunday, Aug 17, 2008.

Laptop (office issued), my PSP, my external HD, my Sony Cybershot T200 Digital Cam, my iPod, and a lot of little precious things.

I hate it. It still brings tears to my eyes everytime I remember it. Not so much of the things but the memories that I have locked in my laptop and external HD. Specifically, 9,000 ++ songs and 14,000++ pictures. WTF!!!!

11:30PM Gen. Malvar cor J. Bocobo. In a taxi.

ARRRGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I still try and count my blessings. At least, I wasn't harmed. At least it wasn't the new dSLR I bought. I've been aching to buy an iPod Classic anyway. PSP kept me away from reading books, but now I got into reading again. Songs, I can always recover somehow. Pictures, Thank God for Multiply.

It's a pain to lose your things but it's even more painful to hear the nagging and disappointment from my mother's voice. :( Sigh!

I need a hug!

Somebody to Loooooove....

I remember it was a cold night. The rain just stopped and left puddles of water on the busy road. It was pretty late and people were rushing home. I decided to stop a local coffee shop to just think. Think about life and love and why it's seems to be so elusive for me.

For as long as I can remember this was the only topic I always write about, love. I've had my fair share (of it) so I guess that would about qualify me to share my stories.

Recent events (and by events I mean dates) in my life had left me to believe that I may never be one of those people who finds their happy ending. At 26, I feel jaded about the entire thing but I do try to remain hopeful. Wishing that someday I'd get to meet one person who'd make my life seem less important.

Everyday I awoke and went with my usual routine. Roll out my bed, dragged myself to the toilet. I bathed, towelled myself dry, shaved, brushed my teeth (twice), and put on my clothes. I went down the stairs, grabbed something to eat and headed out to another day of singlehood.

I don't know why I'm so bothered by the fact that I'm single. Perhaps because I never got used to it.

I started having a relationship when I was 15 and after countless of relationships, which included, liars, nymphomaniacs, addicts, deranged, players, puppy loves, older men, younger men, men my age, and everything else in between.

I enjoyed my first couple of months being single but now, this self-proclaimed love monkey is just going bananas.

Every night seemed colder than the last. The rain kept pouring. People still went their way and I sat there and watched. I wondered if out of the billions and billions of people in this planet, why was I still alone when love seemed to be everywhere.

***Photo taken from Magekin at Deviant Art: http://magekin.deviantart.com/art/Left-In-A-Corner-86372058

Morning Tear

Original Song by Brandy
revived by: Westlife

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right?
Have you ever?

Have you ever?

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything
To make them understand?
Have you ever had someone
Steal your heart away?
You'd give anything
To make them feel the same?
Have you ever searched for words
To get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start?



Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life?
You'd do just about anything
To look into their eyes?
Have you fin'ly found the one

You've given your heart to
Only to find that one
Won't give their heart to you?
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there

And all you can do is wait
For that day when they will care?




What do I gotta do to get you in my arms, baby?
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand
How I need you next to me?
Gotta get you in my world
'Cause, baby, I can't sleep



Have you ever?
(loved somebody so much it makes you cry...)
-o-

Well, have you? Huh?!

At some point, we all did... But what happens after your long search, you think you found 'the one,' only to find out you have to keep looking.

Do you cry some more?

Do you continue your search?

Give up?

Wait?

Pray?

Hope... Dream...

-o-

After a promise not too long ago, not to dance in the rain anymore to hide the tears. You wake up one morning only to realize you don't really need the rain,


you have your sunglasses.

Crazy... Die... Worms Will Eat Me!

I don't know why I easily get affected by the people around me? For some reason, when someone close to me is sad, depressed or just plain down. I can't help but feel the same way. And no matter how hard I try to shake it off, it's like a nagging mother-in-law that chases after you. It's both irritating and sad.

I want to learn how it is to be detached but there are very few people to learn from. And it would probably take years of practice to master.

It's just one of those days, I guess. Stressed. Depressed. And I feel as if everything around me suddenly turned gloomy. The sun didn't shine as bright as I hoped today. And my previous night didn't fair any better. Things that usually don't bother me on my normal days, irritate the hell out of me today. Voices of colleagues that I hear everyday, suddenly sounds like a siren on an abulance or a fire alarm. The phone ringing sounds like a bells clanging. Boisterous laughter seems like a giant balloon that keeps popping beside you. You just want to get the hell out of there.

And then a brilliant solution, the iPOD.

But just as luck may have it today, something got stuck on the earphone jack of my iPOD which prevented me from alienating the rest of the world. And I have been trying to get it out the whole morning but it just wouldn't budge. Off to the Mac Centre when I get back to have this darn thing fixed.

Crazy?! I'm not crazy!
I don't wanna die!

Die?! I don't want to die!
Worms will eat me!

Worms?! I hate worms!
They drive me crazy!

Crazy?! I'm not crazy!
I don't wanna die!

Die?! I don't want to die!
Worms will eat me!

Worms?! I hate worms!
They drive me crazy!

Crazy?!...

(repeat forever!)

Ramblings in Tagalog

Hindi ko alam kung ilan ang nagbabasa ng blog ko. Hindi ko din alam kung karamihan ba pinoy o may mga foreigners din na nagbabasa. Nahuli ko kasi yung isang ka-opisina ko na nagbabasa ng blog ko kaya hangga't maari, hindi ako nagsusulat ng tagalog. Mahirap na, kawawa naman ang fans. ("LORRRD!" sabi ni Nget.) Pero ang alam ko kay Ms. Vicky daan-daan or maaring libo-libo pa nga ang nagbabasa. Sikat na kasi si Atche!

Malapit na ako umuwi. Mga tatlong tulog na lang. Excited na nga ako eh. Namimiss ko na kasi friends ko sa Manila. Saka di mashadong ka-gandahan ang mga tao dito. Nakakaumay tingnan. Di katulad ng mga maowdel friends ko. (Pout Che, pout!)

Naalala ko yung sinulat ni Joey, tungkol sa Manok. Naiihi pa din ako sa kakatawa pag naalala ko sha. Napakatalino ng taong ito. Kung ano-ano ang naiisip. Pati manok pinagdidiskitahan. Kamusta naman di ba?

Marami-rami akong kaibigan na hayup kung magsulat, tulad na lang ni Nat. . Bestfriend ko yun, doctor, inglesera, sosyalera, pero sa loob-loob may pag ka cowboy din.

Pansin mo ba, naadik ako sa paglilink sa ibang tao. Iniinggit kasi ako ni Atche na marunong daw siya, so nalavinia ako. Kaya pinatunayan ko din na marunong ako.

Teka, teka, segway muna, nak-ng-tokwa, na distract ako don sa dumaan na kano. Ang gwapo ng animal. Kamukha ni Ramon Christopher pero mas gwapo ito. Kaso may kasamang bilat. Confirmed direcho ang takbo ng utak nito. Yung bilat, parang model, kamukha ni Natalie Portman, mas maganda nga lang si Natalie.

Epekto ito ng madaming trabaho. Kailangan pa minsan-minsan lumabas ako sa office at wag mashado magtrabaho. Kakapagod din kasi, stressed na stressed na ako. Dami kong deadlines, kung ano-anong proposals at projects. Sa Friday na daw ang huling palugit sabi ni Bossing. Feeling kasi nila si Superman ako, di nila alam, si Darna ang favorite ko.


Tagal naman magdownload ng Adobe Photoshop Trial Version. Dalawang oras na ako nagdodownload asa 16% pa lang. 7 hours 30 minutes pa daw. 'Nak ng! Bukas na nga lang. Pagod na ako.

TRIP Support

My Friends please support....

Bata, Bata Paano Ka Ginawa?

Baket nga ba na karamihan ng matatanda nahuhumaling sa mga bata?

Madami-dami na din akong kaibigan ang nakikipagrelasyon sa bata. Dahil ba mas maalaga? Mas malambing? Mas inosente? Kung iisipin mong mabuti, nung kabataan mo ba ganon ka? Mas maalaga, malambing at inosente?

At bakit sa iyong pagtanda biglang nagbago ang lahat. Ito ba ay dahil sa karanasan mo nung ikaw ay namumulat pa lang sa alindog ng ka-munduhan? Ano nga ba ang dahilan kung bakit mas masarap magmahal ang bata?

-0-

Ayaw ko ng bata. Para sa akin sakit lamang ito sa ulo. Maigi pa na kumuha ka ng bato at ipukol na lamang sa iyong ulo. Ika nga nila, immature daw ang mga bata. Mahirap alagaan at pakibagayan. Iba kayo lagi ng trip sa buhay. Kung ikaw, mahilig lang mamalagi sa bahay at masaya na na nagbabasa ng libro habang pinapatugtog ang Jazz Classics cd na binili mo nung isang linggo, ang mga bata naman mas gustong nagkakape sa Trinoma or di kaya nagiinuman sa Malate. Ma-gimmik, yan ang buhay ng bata. Parang lahat gustong tikaman at maranasan. Oo, sige na, hindi lahat ng bata ganito ang trip sa buhay. May mga iba na mahilig din tumambay sa bahay at magbasa na lang ng libro. Pero ilan ang kilala mo na ganito?

Bago ang lahat, ilang taon ba ang bata para sa inyo? Sampu pababa, bente pataas hanggang trenta? Para sa mga asa mid-20s, matanda na daw sila. Pero para sa early-30s bata din daw sila kumpara sa mga 40s, 50s, 60s, 90s... So, ano ba talaga? At dahil nabibilang ako sa mga mid-20s, para sa akin lahat ng mas bata sa edad ko, BATA. Kahit alam kong bata pa din naman ako.

Ang gulo. Parang turumpo.

Marami na din naman akong naranasan sa buhay ko para sabihin kong medyo matanda na ako. Medyo lang. Kung kaibigan kita at alam mo ang buhay ko, mag-a-agree ka din sa akin. Pero madami naman sa inyo na hindi ako kilala, kaya maniwala ka na lang.

-0-

Pero baket nakakahumaling pa din ang bata? Masaya kasi kasama ang bata, parang feeling mo bata ka na din.

High School.

Naalala mo ba ang ligawan nung high school? Nung hindi pa ganon kalala ang cellphone, texting, at Friendster, Multiply, G4M, at kung ano-ano pang internet social networking sites. May chatting na non. Pero Java Script or MiRC nga lang.

"ASL?"

"16yo M Manila"

"ic"

"U?"

"26 M Bulacan"

"Layo... lol!"

At makalipas ang ilang pagpapalitan pa ng mensahe...

"So, EB?"

"Sure, san tayo magkikita? Ano suot mo?"

"Sa McDo Quezon Ave. Magsusuot ako ng blue cap, white shirt and jeans."

"Ok. Sige, kita tayo ng 1pm."

Naalala nyo ang mga ganitong usapan? Mahirap makipag-EB noon kasi wala namang picture. O kung meron man, kailangan mo pang pumunta ng computer shop para lang magpa-scan. Hassle, dami keme. Kaya kadalasan papakinggan mo na lang ang nararamdaman mo at magdadasal ka na ang kikitain mo ay hindi mukhang bakulaw.

Kadalasan din, dadating ka sa lugar na inyong pinagusapan at magugulat ka na lang na may apat na naka blue cap, white shirt at jeans. Ang saya-saya. Pero dahil hindi ka sigurado king sino sa kanila ang dapat mong lapitan, magpapakyut ka nlang at magaantay na ikaw ang lapitan nila.

Anak ng, oo nga pala, nakalimutan mong ikaw lang ang nagtanong ng suot nya. Hindi mo nasabi kung anong suot mo. Patay na! Paano na 'to? At dahil hindi pa uso ang cellphone... Teka, uso na pala, wala ka lang non. Putcha.

Makalipas ang apat na oras, umalis na din ang tatlong naka blue cap, white shirt and jeans. Isa na lang ang natira. So by the process of elimination, mukhang bibinggo ko na. Pero malas, sa tinagal-tagal ng pagaantay mo...

"Excuse me. Are you John Michael?"

"Huh? Sorry, James Martin ang pangalan ko."

'Nak ng tipaklong, lapit na eh, parehong JM.

Maraming posibiledad kung bakit hindi ka nagtagumpay. Una, sha nga si John Michael pero dahil hindi ka nya type, nagpanggap na ibang tao na lang sha. Ikalawa, hindi talaga siya yun at nagkamali ka talaga. Ikatlo, malas ka lang talaga.

Teka, anong araw na nga ba ngayon?

Sabado.

Bukas pa pala EB ko.

Linggo.

Memory gap.

-0-

Ang saya-saya main-love nung high school ka. Madaming kakilig-kilig na pangyayari. Makatanggap ka lang ng page (Pocketbell, EasyCall o kung hip ka, Jazz Page) mula sa crush mo, para kang maiihi sa tuwa. Madalas, maguusap kayo sa phone (landline). Telebabad. Kadalasan patago mo pa gagawin kasi bawal ka mahuli ng nanay mo at sigaradong patay ka. May pasok kasi kinabukasan at bawal magpuyat.

Ano nga ba pinaguusapan nyo non? Ito yung mga sinasabi nilang sweet nothings. Sa madaling sabi, mga walang kwentang bagay na pinaguusapan pero dahil crush mo yung tao, kinikilig ka pa din. Tulad ng anong episode ang naganap sa Bioman/Daimos or kung ano mang cartoons at kahit teleserye noon (Gulong ng Palad, Cebu, Dakak, Isabel Sugo ng Birhen, Ana Lisa at sa mga bago-bago, Marimar o Mara Clara) ang palabas nung panahon na yun.

Nakahiga ka sa kama. Paikot-ikot, patumbling tumbling sa kumot habang hawak pa din ang telepono. Ngiti na hanggang makabilang tenga. Ngiting aso.

At bigla mo na lang makikita ang relo mo, alas tres na.

"O, cge goodnight na."

"Ok. Sige, tulog na tayo ha."

"Goodnight!"

"Sige, ibaba mo na ang telepono."

"Ikaw muna. Ikaw tumawag eh."

"Ikaw na."

"O, sige, sabay tayo ha"

"Ok. Ok."

"One... two... three..."

Biglang tahimik.

"Oh, bat di mo binaba?"

"Eh, bat di mo din binaba?"

"Eh sabi mo sabay eh"

Hala, sa mga pagkakataon na ito kasalukuyang mamatay-matay ka na sa kilig.

Hay.. mga bata nga naman! Ang saya-saya!

Gusto kong bumalik ng High School. Masarap nga main-love sa bata. Walang violation. Walang basagan ng trip. Masarap talaga bata di lang dahil sa kilig, pero dahil din sa madaming ibang bagay. Fresh meat, ika nga.

Alam mo na yun.